Separation Anxiety

As we settle into a new school year some children (and parents/caregivers) may be feeling a range of emotions. All feelings are completely ok. Some children may feel a little anxiety especially with the change from being with family in the summer to being back at school. Separation anxiety is a real fear that something bad will happen when a child is away from their parent/caregiver.

What Separation Anxiety can look like:
– clinginess or refusal to separate
– Tears at drop off or long before drop off
– Tummy aches and headaches
– Night time fears
– Excessive worry that something will happen to a loved one
*These are behaviours that let us know that our body is on “high alert”

How you can help:
– create a goodbye ritual (ex. walk to the outside of the class, a hug, and reassurance that you will see them after school)
– use a transitional object (a note in the lunchbox, a special stone, a family picture etc.)
– Keep good byes short and sweet
– Reassure with predictability (ex. “I will be back after the bell rings after school”)

What Not to Say:
Since we want to validate our child’s feelings, we want to avoid these phrases:
– “You’re fine”
– “Stop being silly”
– “There’s nothing to be afraid of”
What to Say Instead:
– “I can see that this is really hard for you”
– “You’re safe and I will be back”
– “It’s ok to miss me, I’ll miss you too”

Separation anxiety is not a weakness in your child or your parenting. We can hold space for our child’s big feelings and gentle goodbyes to help them with their separation anxiety.