Listening to the Body: Helping Children Decode Big Feelings
“My tummy hurts!”
This is a familiar phrase for many parents. When we hear it, we often go through a mental checklist: Is it something they ate? Are they coming down with a bug? Or... is it anxiety?
This scenario is incredibly common. Children often feel intense physical sensations but lack the language to understand why they are happening. As parents, we have a unique opportunity to act as a bridge—teaching our children how their emotions are deeply tied to their bodies.
Understanding Interoception
The concept we are teaching is called interoception. While we often teach children to identify external things they see and hear, they are frequently less familiar with recognizing the internal sensations inside their own bodies.
By helping them name these sensations, we move them from a place of feeling overwhelmed to a place of agency. Instead of simply saying, “I’m worried” (which can feel out of control), they can say, “My tummy has butterflies because I am worried.” This makes the feeling observable, manageable, and much less scary.
Practicing Together: The Body Scan
Building this awareness doesn’t have to happen during a meltdown; in fact, it’s best practiced during calm moments, like before bed. You might ask your child:
“Is there a part of your body that feels heavy like a rock right now?” * “Does any part feel light like a feather or wiggly like a noodle?”
You can also play a simple matching game to identify "sensation neighbours." For example:
Tight chest → Worry
Clenched teeth → Frustration
Heavy limbs → Sadness
The Body’s Warning Signal
When children understand their body’s cues, those sensations act as a "warning signal." This allows them to catch big feelings before they become overwhelming storms. It also gives us a window to practice coping strategies, like deep breathing or a "reset" stretch, the moment those familiar sensations start to surface.
Knowledge about our bodies is power. Recognizing the connection between emotions and physical sensations gives children a sense of ownership and control. It allows them to see that sensations are not "bad" or scary; they are simply messages from a body that is trying its best to take care of them.
Is your child struggling to name their big feelings? I am here to help you and your child build those mind-body connections together. Please reach out to learn more about my parent coaching and child/teen counselling services in the Tri-Cities.